The Advice You Should Never Take

“Never take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places with.”

This is one of my favourite quotes.

I remember a lovely first date I had with my (new at the time) friend Matt Corker. 

For anyone who hasn’t heard of or met Matt – if you live in Vancouver, you’ve been living under a rock – this guy knows EVERYONE! And it’s because he’s fantastic. 

Matt and I were out for a run the first time we met and we got into the discussion of working women – one of my favourite topics. At the time, Matt worked for lululemon. I told him that I believed it was possible to “have it all” – work and family.

I also told him that I felt like I had it all but didn’t know many other people who did. 

Do you ever feel like this too?  Do you ever feel like you’re the only one?

The narrative out there seemed to be that “having it all” was a myth. Or that telling women they could “have it all” was cruel, and makes those who don’t have it all feel worse about themselves.

Not good.

Matt said something very profound to me.

He said, “If you think you can’t have it all, you’re talking to the wrong person.”

Bam.

Of course. 

Someone who doesn’t have it all will probably tell you it’s not possible. They’ll tell you it’s a myth, and that you have to pick between work , fun, and family. 

Matt hit the nail on the head. If you ask the right women, they will show you it’s possible. At lululemon, he knew many female executives who still made time to exercise, volunteer, and raise families. 

The same goes for men.  If you ask the right men, they will share wonderful stories from their paternity leave, of backpacking trips through Europe and exciting business accomplishments.

Let’s remember that “having it all” doesn’t mean there aren’t sacrifices. Tough decisions. Constant prioritization. And support required. 

But it IS possible! And isn’t prioritizing, making decisions, and being deliberate in what you do a HELL of a lot better than the alternative? 

Being deliberate beats missing out on having kids that you would love to have. 

Prioritizing beats being lonely because you’ve spent too much time at the office. 

Making the decision to set boundaries with your boss (or your business) sure beats missing a best friend’s bachelorette party or birthday.

Do you ever feel like you know it’s possible but just aren’t sure how to “have it all”?   

Here’s how you can get there too.

1)  Having it all starts with figuring out what “having it all” means to you. 

For some, it will mean running a marathon a year. 

For others, it will mean having three kids. 

For others (like me), it means travelling to new countries every year.

For many of us, it means having great family and friend relationships.

I believe we can have all this and also have rewarding, challenging and engaging work to do!

2)  Having it all also means surrounding yourself with other women and men who feel like they have it all. 

• Reach out to a friend or mentor who is clearly happy and fulfilled in their lives, and learn from them. 
• Talk to your friends about what “having it all” means to you, and to them. Support each other and encourage them to “have it all” too.

3)  Having it all means being deliberate with your time and consciously creating the life you want. This might mean:

• Setting the alarm early to have breakfast with your partner and kids because you aren’t always home for dinner.
• Saying no to volunteering for the fundraiser.
• Pumping the song “You can have it all” by JRDN in moments of doubt. Which literally just came on my iTunes random playlist.  Yup – it’s a sign – we can have it all!
• Having a conversation with your boss about after-hours emails.
• Working late some week nights and weekends so you can take a Friday off and head out on a wine-tasting weekend early.
• Taking paid or unpaid leave of absence to spend more time travelling.

All of these things become HEAPS easier when you know you’re doing it because you want to have it all.  

And you deserve to have it all.

--Lisa

Success Coach

PS If you’re looking for awesome books to get into the structure of HOW to have it all, I highly recommend Laura Vanderkam’s books168 Hours and I Know How She Does It.  I’ll be sharing learnings from her work from time-to-time but if you are super passionate about this topic, get her books now!  Side note - If you do follow my links, they don't cost you anything extra and keep me reading and recommending only the best books and advice for you!

Be Happier In Your Job By Friday!

You don’t need to quit your job, and run away “Eat, Pray, Love”-style to be happy. You can make some changes THIS WEEK to start loving your job more.  Keep reading and start waking up EXCITED every day!

Ok, so it’s only Tuesday but maybe the blah’s have already kicked in.  I don’t know if you are looking for a small change or huge change (like quitting your job, moving to Bali, starting a business and getting a PhD).  And maybe you don’t know what you need either. That’s ok!

If all you know is that you want to be happier, that’s great. 

The even better news is

YOU CAN START TODAY!

Any change you want starts with you doing something about it.  So here’s 5 things you can do THIS WEEK to have happier work and a happier life.

1) Plan 3 Fun Breaks.

Having something to look forward to brings you joy before, during and after. It’s like triple the happiness!  This fun break can be a lunch break or a shorter mid-morning one.  Do something that’s fun for YOU.  Go for lunch with a friend or a coworker.  Close your office door and take a 10-minute stretch break (or have a dance party!).  Go for a walk. Book that massage you’ve been meaning to.  Watch a TedTalk you’ve been dying to see. Pull out your colouring book and make a masterpiece. Whatever it is, give your brain and body a chance to hit “refresh”.  It will make you more productive AND also give you a giant boost of happy!

2) Jot down what you love. 

Put a piece of paper next to your keyboard or start a note in your phone. Any time you find yourself enjoying what you’re doing, looking forward to doing something at work, or if you just lost track of time because you were so into what you were doing, write it down! This will help you learn about yourself and what you love to do. Once you understand this, it makes knowing what to do to love your career a lot easier. Start by tracking what you love. Then look for ways to do more of it in your life.

 3) Help and appreciate someone else. Share the happy with others! You can:

• Help a colleague. Sure, you’re busy. We’re all busy. But you see a coworker drowning in work, or struggling with something you’re good at. Lend a hand. Giving encourages others to help and we all know what goes around comes around.
• Recognize someone who’s made a difference to you. Consider how they would want to be thanked and do it that way. Say thank you to them at your team meeting, send a personalized thank you card, or email them and their boss, thanking them for something they did for you! It makes you feel good and creates a positive work environment. Create healthy relationships today. They will last for the rest of your career.   

4) Do that scary thing.

Take a risk. Do that thing that's been nagging you but you haven't had the balls to do.  Volunteer for that new project.  Speak up and bring a new perspective to the table.  Lead something you've never done. Share your opinion even though it's different than everyone else's.  Go to that networking event alone. You want an awesome career?  Of course you do!  Go get it.   Be courageous today and try new things. Don’t forget that you are unique. Whatever you choose to say, join or create will be better because of your ideas, leadership, and perspective.  So be bold and just do it!

5) Start an "I Rock” folder.  

Mine’s called “Lisa Rocks” but I recommend using your own name.  I have an email folder that I’ll put positive feedback in when someone sends me a flattering or appreciative email. Not only is it an awesome way to perk up when you’re having a bad day, but it’s also extremely helpful for your career. Stock it now and your performance reviews will be a piece of cake.  Run your own business? Share your “I Rock” folder as raving testimonials to new clients (don’t forget to ask permission first).  No-one else will take ownership of your career for you. You have to own your career. Take pride and keep track because it’s up to you to be confident about and share the incredible work you’re doing!

Challenge yourself to do all 5 of these things.  Try them this week.  Do them again next week.  I guarantee you will find yourself smiling more and feeling confident in what you are doing.

Do it this week because action is what it’s ALL about!

Let me know how it goes. I know you can do it!  And I love hearing from you. Reach out and share your thoughts. 

Here’s to choosing happiness!