Have you ever been told you’re too emotional? I know I have been.

If it makes you feel any better, I just cried over a stroller.

Here's my story... and how you can get over feeling "too emotional."

Recently, Troy and I have been looking for a stroller. We’d done some research and knew what the one we wanted would cost to buy new (over $2,000… yikes!).

Then, a used one came up in a Mom’s Facebook group online. It was a smokin’ deal.

It wasn’t quite my dream stroller but it was a great value. (Side note: I never thought I’d have a “dream stroller” but parenthood is surprising already!)

The stroller came with all the bells and whistles, was in good condition, and would save us more than $1500.

So we bought it.

On the way home, all of a sudden, I burst into tears.

I was devastated and disappointed over the stroller.

It didn’t feel logical.

Or rational.

Before the words even came out, I started saying to my husband Troy, “I’m so sorry, I know this sounds crazy but…”

And then I shared my initial reasons for why I was crying. (Or why I thought I was crying…)

“Maybe we should have bought new.”

“I feel like a bad mom.” (Mom guilt is SO real and she’s not even here yet!)

“She’s our first baby.”

“She deserves better.”

I found myself instantly in this emotional state of guilt, fear. I felt like I wasn’t good enough as a mother. That I’d made the wrong decision.

And, right away, I found myself making excuses for my emotions. Apologizing for crying.

Then, I tried to laugh it off.

“I’m just emotional”, I told Troy.

“It’s my first and only big pregnancy breakdown,” I said. As if only having one pregnancy breakdown was a badge of honor I should be proud to wear.

“I’m just tired.”

“I’m just hormonal.”

But what I realized shortly after is this:

So many times, I try to make excuses for my emotions, and apologize. Or laugh it off.

Do you ever do this?

Have you ever apologized for your emotions? (Especially if you’ve ever been told you’re “too emotional”).

Have you ever made excuses… or tried to laugh off your emotions?

Maybe it was with a partner. Family. Boss or colleague.

Have you ever gotten emotional… and then tried to rationalize it?

“I’m just tired.”

“I must be hungry.”

“Sorry, I’m just having a bad day.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, there ARE days when these “excuses” are real.

Some days, you should get more sleep before having the tough conversation.

Sometimes, your blood sugar has dropped and it does make you crankier. And you should eat the snack.

There are days when you are tired, and everything seems to upset you, and you need self-care before you can make a good decision.

BUT there’s a difference between recognizing what’s going on for us – whether it’s a real emotion or physical state like sadness, loneliness, anger, hunger, tired…. AND just discarding it.

See, emotions are neither good or bad.

They are neutral.

They are energy in motion. E-motion… cool, right?!

And when we don’t listen to our emotions… and instead, make excuses for them, or suppress them… and push them down….

We end up not learning from them.

We end up wasting what our emotions are trying to show us.

We never get the message the emotion is trying to share.

We don’t learn from what the emotion is telling us.

Logically, I couldn’t believe I was crying. And for that reason, I tried to rationalize it.

“I’m being stupid because….”

“The baby won’t know new from old.”

“We can use the money we saved towards a family trip together.”

“Buying material goods don’t show love.”

All these thoughts were logical. And I could have… and often have in the past, stopped here.

But this time, I realized, that perhaps I was losing the lesson.

I reflected and had to ask “what was that emotion teaching me?”

I asked “why am I crying?” “What’s going on for me?”

My lesson? It’s the realization that becoming a mother is going to change me.

It’s going to come with ups and downs.

I realized that I’m shifting, and that’s ok.

I have this mama bear instinct that’s here – and it might defy logic sometimes.

(Logically, I know that “new” isn’t how we show love and that our baby won’t know the difference between new and used.)

That’s the lesson I can gain from this.

But if I hadn’t stopped to ask myself, “what is this emotion showing me?”,

I would never have gained this lesson.

In our culture and world, emotions are so undervalued and underrated.

It’s seen as such a great trait to be “emotionless”, calm-headed.

It’s considered to be a compliment to be very logical.

These can be wonderful things, but it’s not necessarily how you should live your life all the time.

Being logical, calm, rational, and emotionless is NOT the only way to live life.

So the next time you start laughing away emotions, or making excuses for them….

Don’t.

Own your emotion.

Reflect on them.

Ask yourself…

Am I emotional because I’m tired (or insert hungry, lonely, angry) or is there something here?
What’s the lesson here?
What is my body trying to tell me?
Is there a trigger here for me?
What is my heart telling me?

And explore what you discover.

If all you do is make excuses and ignore your emotions, you do yourself a disservice.

Because if all you do is discard your emotions, you won’t ever learn from them. You won’t ever discover more about yourself.

You won’t have the beautiful realizations that come out of emotion.

You might not have the meaningful conversation with a loved one when you realize you truly miss them more than you realized.

Or recognize that your boss’s “jokes” are absolutely A-Not-OK.

You might not notice that you’re going through a massive change in your life… and you need to open up to it.

Most of all, don’t ever feel like you are “too emotional.” Instead, use your emotions as a tool to explore, learn and grow.

Because you are worthy. You are human.

In all your humanness. In all your human mess (especially in the mess!).

Tap into your emotions instead of excusing them, and you’ll find depths, lessons, meaning, and fulfillment like never before.

Messily yours,

Lisa Michaud

Success Coach, Speaker & Mama-to-Be

PS. Have you ever been told you’re too emotional? If it makes you feel any better, I just cried over a stroller.

Recently, Troy and I bought a stroller. On the way home, all of a sudden, I burst into tears.